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Dump : Brian Lara & Company Print E-mail
Wednesday, 22 March 2006 12:00 | Written by Willie the Weka
Brian Lara : Photosport.co.nz This week Brian Lara and the whole West Indies cricket team very deserving of a dump.
  
 What a sad week for any cricketing purist, and even for the casual fan like Willie.
  
 OK ,we know the Windies are not the team of a couple of decades ago, when a seemingly endless string of 6ft 6inch giants terrorized the worlds batsman with wicked pace and bounce.  Then followed by great batsman that would score 300+ runs in a day when it was unfashionable.  We all knew that, the same as we all expected our Black Caps to win the one day series comfortably, with Chris Gayle the only really proven performer in the Windies lineup.
  But then enter Mr Brain Charles Lara, fresh of the plane and straight onto the attack!!  Stating that although he had not seen any coverage of the one day series, he had read articles from the New Zealand journo’s, and how dare they have a crack at the Windies.  How dare they, with the Windies far superior playing history, and 'world class' players, be criticised by mere Kiwi’s?  Total disrespect, shocking, who did we think we where?
  
 Awesome, Willie thought, great, Brian Charles Lara, greatest run scorer in the history of the game, highest individual test score, angry! Pissed!  Wow, now we have a test series on our hands!!  He will come out and smash our bowlers to all parts, rack up a double century and put us in our place...
  
 Test One, Auckland, BC Lara strides to the wicket, gets to 5, then is out to Bond. OK, everyone has the odd failure, no issues, this will just fire him up more.  Second innings, Windies chasing, here's the perfect opportunity to put the kiwi plebs in their place, and carry his team to victory.  Result, out for a duck!!  Bowled around his legs, again to Mr Bond.
  
 Fine two up two down, move to Wellington, now more net practice having apparently not played for the six weeks prior to coming to Kiwiland.  Mr Bond ruled out with illness, Chandlerpaul wins toss, bats, great!!  Chance to score some serious runs and put Windies in good match position.  Result, out for 1, 4th ball of innings to Franklin. Cripes, you can feel BC Lara pissed now!!  NZ score 370 odd and Windies have a 180 run deficit.  Ok sweet, backs to the wall stuff, team need me, loads of time left in match, score big and set this rabble kiwi team a target!!  Result yep, you guessed it, out for 1, this time to the terrifying pace of Nathan Astle's bowling.
  
 So Mr Lara, 4 innings, 23 balls faced, 7 runs scored, average 1.75 – Chris Martin could perhaps offer some advice – he has a test average of 2.29!!
  
 Sorry BC Lara, we Kiwi’s are not being disrespectful for your countries history in the game.  We are simply watching a pathetic bunch of under performing wannabes, forming a totally embarrassing record in recent times - 15 losses in the last 17 tests matches says it all.
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