New Zealand has spanked Bangladesh by a massive 10 wickets in just the 9th over. It was like watching Australia beat Pakistan, except New Zealand actually played well and deserved to win.

The Black Caps pulled out a completely dominating performance and reduced the Bangles to just 78, not even lasting their quota of 20 overs.

The win was created by some superb bowling on New Zealand's part and a near flawless batting display from Peter Ingram and Brendon McCullum but Bangladesh do not get off scot-free. They batted like a group of Samoans playing Kilikiti on a Saturday afternoon, wafting their bats at anything and 9 times out of 10 trying to force a shot that really wasn't on.

Hitting the sweet fanny adams out of the ball is well and good, as McCullum proved, but if you don't make contact in your first 7 heaves it may be a sign to slow it down and play some ACTUAL CRICKET STROKES.

The abortion that was tonight's game is pretty typical of the shit cricket that we have been given since the emergence of T/20 but it looks like its here to stay.  So me might as well enjoy the freak show when it rears its ugly head.

I am a fan of test cricket... it's how the game should be played, there is strategy, patience, technique, focus and a level of class that we will never see in T/20. But that doesn't matter because tonight's game was about throwing willow at leather and spooning balls over the keepers head. You know cricket is changing when the commentator genuinely asks when we can expect to see the 'long-stop' fielding position a regular occurrence.

Anywho the Bangles signed there own death warrant pretty early on. Trying not to lose wickets is the worst thing to do when you are losing a lot of wickets and they simply could not bat themselves out of the bloody deep hole they dug.

They were set on the back foot mainly due to some fantastically accurate bowling from the Black Caps. Line and length I was always told, that's how you get wickets. Tuffey had the ball landing on a dime and has somehow managed to find more pace with age. I thought Nathan McCullum would get spanked all over the park but I doubt whether any of the Bangladeshi's could have spanked anything if they were in a brothel tonight, let alone Seddon Park. He bowled well, got nice turn, good bounce and mixed things up. This is what he has been doing all season domestically and he showed his worth with 2 for 15 off his 4 overs. I formally retract my comments about him being rubbish and having a camp, ungainly style.

How good was Vettori...Blow me, 3 for 6 off 4 overs, equalling the best figures in T/20 history. He was playing with them. His biggest weapon has always been his variation, particularly his flight and he just had the lot of them bamboozled. His arm ball in particular was looking pretty terrifying especially with the pitch giving him some extra bounce, definitely a fun day at the office for Dan.

Brendon McCullum looked to be having an absolute ball. It almost looked like the Harlem Globetrotters of cricket, especially the final ball of the match with his 'spoon over the head' dummy followed by a crunching cover drive. Peter Ingram, like McCullum, got a life after being dropped by one of the blind, deaf, or dumb fieldsman (they had to be one of the three putting those chances down). He also hit every ball off the middle of the bat including some orgasmic cover drives that showed a glimpse of class that I hope extends to the longer form of the game.

It was odd looking at the Bangladesh team because they were all very very tiny. Nathan McCullum is a bit of a runt but he made them look like 8 year olds. It was most obvious when the Kiwi's starting hitting an affective line and length and the batsman could not move into any adequate position to play the ball. Together with the fact that they seemed adamant that every ball needed to get tonked over mid wicket they looked completely out of sorts. The length of both McCullum and Vettori was particularly good drawing the batsman forward and catching them out with the bounce in the wicket. They had no chance after committing to the front foot as the ball was often leaving the top of the bat with bugger all control. They tried the back foot and that didn't work, they tried charging and that was laughable. They simply had no answer.

Friday night will be there first chance for redemption and I humbly suggest that they spend the majority of the next 48 hours on a wicket in the Hawkes Bay getting used to our conditions. If possible ship over a couple of lanky players so they might have a chance against our spin attack and avoid watching any Kilitiki between now and the match.

For the Black Caps I imagine the same thing will be on the menu for Friday, this is a good opportunity to get the guys confidence up and get themselves in top nick before the Aussies come over in a month or so.