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Written by JP & Donsteppa
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Tuesday, 20 June 2006 |
 3am: Awake in a cold sweat; falling, falling, dreams of virulent death haunting me.
4am: Woke up after a nagging feeling and was compelled to check that the batteries in the smoke alarms in the room still worked. You can’t trust these foreign hotels.
5am: Got up and reread the evacuation procedures on the door of the room. You never can be too careful in unfamiliar places.
6.55am: ARRRRRGAAAAAAAHHHHHH! State of absolute sheer panic.
6.55.10am: Luckily it was just the bedside alarm and not the fire alarm.
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Written by Allegedly by the alleged Thomond78 with alleged thanks to the alleged IR and Gaillimh. Allegedly…
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Wednesday, 15 March 2006 |
 02:32 Wake up screaming from terrible, terrible nightmare. Oh, God, it was awful. Dreamt IRFU committee phoned me up and said that press and public had a point and that they were putting in a performance clause into my contract. Feel sick even thinking about it…
02:34 They wouldn’t, would they?
02:35 Maybe it wasn’t a dream. Oh, God, no, it can’t be, must get contract out and check it.
02:37 Still have contract until 2008 with no hint of performance clause in it. Contract fine. Sheets, as usual after reading contract, less so. Must do something about this reaction. It can’t be right, I’ll go blind, and the hotel laundry is starting to ask embarrassing questions…
07:00 Woken from renewed sleep by alarm clock reciting some of my most inspiring sayings. Feel much better. Faith renewed by hearing such pearls as “At one stage last week I felt we had France for the taking, but they ended up beating us easily”. Proof I’m a genius and leader sent from heaven.
07:02 Open curtains. Glad to see hotel staff have finally been properly instructed to hail their Great Leader when they see me…
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Written by JP & Donsteppa
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Thursday, 24 November 2005 |
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 A day in the life of Eddie, originally 'published' 7 September, 2003, and time to pull it out again (so to speak) with the joys that Eddie is having at the moment with the Wobblies.
Read on dear reader...
3.35am: Once again fell out of bed onto the floor. If only Mrs. Kefu was 56.3% smaller and not refusing to leave my bed until Steve gets back in the team.
4:48am: This is getting ridiculous. Still not sleeping. Decided to get up and head to the trusty computer and its statistics package to try to justify picking Steve at inside centre again. 4:52am: If one more cheeky sod thinks it’s funny to e-mail me that bloody “Memo from John Mitchell” again… 5:00am: Scanning web for comments on the Wallabies. Once again “Nick the Aussie” is calling me a FluffyBunny on some Kiwi website. How cute. 5:05am: Yawning too much though so retreated to the couch to try to get some decent sleep.
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Written by JP & DOnsteppa
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Wednesday, 07 July 2004 |
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7.00 am: Awake to custom-made alarm clock that emits a fanfare of trumpets, followed by the phrase “Arise Sir Clive” that repeats according to the hour the alarm has been set to. It never fails to put a smile on one’s face at the start of the day. 7.02am: By Gads!!! Wallace Greenworld, the official squad alarm-clock specialist is 1 minute late to turn off my alarm clock!!! Clearly discipline is slipping in the squad. I must chastise Wallace and arrange a meeting about it later in the day. 7.03am: Thankfully Mildow Baggins, the official slipper, night-gown and pyjama specialist is being much more dutiful and has arranged my custom print English flag slippers at the foot of my bed – right next to the custom print life-size still shot of me being knighted.
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Written by JP & Donsteppa
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Wednesday, 02 June 2004 |
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9am: Woke up, rolled over. 9.30am: Dammed beer cans I left in bed from last night ruining my sleep… 10.46am Got out of bed, checked answer phone to find a message left by Mark Gasnier about attending optional practice for NSW today. “Wille, Willie where the f**k are you?? There are 4 toey blokes here in the cab all fired up for some action and you’re at home in bed!! F**k me, fire up Willie.” 10:50am: Nothing like a hair of the dog to pick yourself up for the day.
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