5.15am: Awoke for one terrified moment thinking that I’d fallen asleep with cucumber slices still on my eyes, thankfully it was all a bad dream, like that one I had a few days back about Kiwi Searancke taking over the coaching at the Chiefs.

6.30am: Awake from restless sleep and decide to get out of bed, still disturbed about thoughts of Kiwi Searancke, go to bathroom to ready myself for the day.

8.15am: Emerge out of bathroom and go check the mailbox.

8.17am: Funny there’s an AMI car crashed into a heap of garbage cans on the other side of the street across from my driveway…

8.45am: Should I wear my “Girls don’t like boys – Girls like cars and money” t-shirt under my corporate attire today??  

8.50am: Driving to work, debating whether I should flirt with guy in lane opposite so I can nab his lane when the lights change, by the way that’s a really nice car he has…

8.52am: Flirting disastrous, hopeless male just stared at me and forgot to take the corner and drove his car straight into a power-pole, honestly, men these days!!

9.00am: Arrive at work, smile warmly at our receptionist on the way in, striding confidently to my desk in my 6-inch sole boots and notice that Jenny’s wearing a short black skirt…slut…

9.15am: Sulkily checking e-mails, considering telling Jenny that she should go join the Retravision Rockettes if she’s going to dress like that.

9.30am: Log onto the Silverfern, find 24 new personal messages and that any topics I reply to are answered in 14 seconds flat.  My they’re such a nice bunch!!!

10.00am: Presentation to the boss explaining the vital importance that I go interview Regan King for the upcoming NPC as being a fresh faced introduction with a measure of success that’s already been in the All Blacks and has recovered from injury he’ll be inspirational to our younger viewers.

10.30am: Presentation successful!!  What a lucky co-incidence that he’s also the cutest guy in the NPC squad.

10:35am: Rushed to let the lads know on the Silverfern.

10:36am: For once there was silence responding to my posts!?! Almost like they’re quietly sulking!?!

10:45am: Bart has changed my avatar yet again – how am I supposed to live up to this?

10:50am: A late morning tea. Brought Jenny a large slice of chocolate cake. One sure way to make her cover up if I buy her a few more…

11:15am: Another nice e-mail from Paul Strang. Must remember to lobby NZC for the return of the Zimbabwean cricketers. Hopefully the quiet little wall-Flowers are a little more lively next time.

11:30am: Work boring, decide to throw darts at my Kiwi Searancke dartboard for a while. That Ian Forster’s much nicer, at least he blushes and stutters when I interview him instead of patting me on the head and calling me a “good girl”.

11:45am:  Check the Silverfern again; notice 24 spelling mistakes, 10 grammatical errors, 3 improper uses of adjectives and 2 ineffectual uses of the metaphor.  Heavens be it would take me hours to clear up that lot!!  Decide to give the worst offender a brief warning and hope the rest of them clean their act up…

12:00pm: Lunch time!!  Wander down to cafeteria, spot fat chick eating a salad and briefly consider getting a double-decker banana split with whipped cream, nuts and chocolate topping just to spite her.

12:02pm: Spot Jenny in corner, kindly offer her my double-decker banana split with whipped cream, nuts and chocolate topping as I’ve “just realised that I’ve got an interview to do and if I don’t leave now I’ll miss it and have to skip lunch”.

12:05pm: Now have to spend next 45 minutes in hiding other-wise Jenny will get suspicious, thank goodness I left these tofu crackers in my car…

12:15pm:  Ok it’s starting to get uncomfortable now.

12:30pm: Really not good, this is worse than when Adam Parore quit the NZ cricket team…I wonder what size Sally Ridge is…

12:45pm:  My GOD!!  If that dammed Jenny doesn’t gain 10 pounds there’s going to be hell to pay…

1:00pm:  Thank goodness that's over, defiantly not the most enjoyable time I’ve had in the back seat of car, hmm I wonder what would have happened if Doug Howlett had been in there???

1:05pm:  Log back onto the Silverfern, 16 new personal messages and all posts replied to within 1 and a half minutes. Those lads on the Silverfern never fail to raise the spirits, now if only they could spell…

1:10pm: Hurrah! The gallant Phooey has come to my rescue by correcting The Mingsters’ grammar! Swoon. If only he wasn’t a Hong Kong based Canterbury supporter. Romeo, Romeo, why for art thou support Blackadder Phoo-e-o?

1:11pm: If only he hadn’t sent me that photo, I could have always pictured Phooey as a Deon Muir look-alike…

1:13pm: Oh those silly Mafia lads! Do they really think they’ll beat us in the real season?

1:14pm: No Bart, I don’t want your phone number…

1:40pm: More paper work. Sigh. I’d ask Jenny to type up that other letter but her fingers are all covered in icing from that sticky cream bun I left on her desk…

2:30pm: On the way to watch the last part of the Waikato training session before interviewing Regan.

2:40pm: My goodness! Michael Collins can out-sprint Matt Priscott!

2:41pm: And Scott Linklater can out punt Derek Maisey!

2:43pm: And the ball-boy kicking the ball back to David Hill has got it through the posts more often than he has!!

2:46pm: Hmmm… if only Scott didn’t bear such a striking resemblance to Mini-me…

2:45pm: Hmmm… Foster does look frustrated. And I do hope that isn’t Kiwi Searancke approaching the ground with a clipboard…

2:50pm: Searancke safely diverted. Strangely he believed me when I told him he’d selected the wrong venue and he walked away muttering “one day I’ll learn about selecting, maybe one-day” over and over… by all accounts he probably won’t.

3:20pm: Camera crew arrives to record interview.

3:25pm: About to begin interviewing Regan. Snuck into bathroom to quickly freshen-up. 

4:15pm: Began interviewing Regan. Struggling to concentrate.

4:20pm:  If only David Hill was practicing his punting in close vicinity so Regan could gallantly save me form being hit by a stray ball.

4:25pm: Dammit!!!  David pulled his hamstrings again! There goes that idea…

4:30pm: Possibly I could manoeuvre this interview a little closer to Jamie Muir’s lineout throwing drills???

4:33pm: Disaster, end up getting hit by ball when Maisey takes up goal-kicking practice.  Hopeless Regan didn’t even do anything, granted it did ricochet off his head but it’s hard to envisage a knight in shining armour who when faced with adversity all they say is “Ouch”…

4:34pm: Interview with custard fingers Regan finished…

4:45pm:  If our dammed cameraman says’s “Well that was an interview with a difference” ever again…

5:00pm:  Back in office and still fuming, plan to edit interview to cut out any big or intelligent words that Regan uses…

5:05pm:  And also use the worst possible photo of him if this ever has to go into print…

5:10pm:  Well that’s just grand!!  Boss comes in and announces, “So I hear your interview with Regan was one with a real difference.”  Before falling about the place laughing…

5:25pm:  Log onto the Silverfern, 32 new personal messages, 14 requests for dates, 12 for a phone number and 4 confessions of un-dying love.  Oh those boys, they really do know how to make a woman feel good about herself…now if only they could correctly use past participles.

5:30pm:  Home time!!  And that bitch Jenny’s leaves the office in her gym-wear!!  All that money spent on providing her with excess calories gone to waste…

5:45pm:  Drive home uneventful, well there was that time I smiled and waved at a guy I though I knew on the highway and I’m sure he missed the next corner…. it seems to happen a lot around here….

6:00pm:  Home!!  Once again struggle through doorway choked with flower deliveries…

6:01pm: Thought I saw BartMan’s face peering in the window out of the corner of my eye but on closer inspection I couldn’t find anyone. Although that does look like muddy footprints leaving the flower border…

6:02pm: Hmmm… chocolates from Phooey… with the message “I hope this makes a real difference to your day” ARRGAHH!!

6:03pm: But not sure that I like this England jersey that Will_G has sent me.

6:05pm: Decided to spite Jenny and go for a run.

6:20pm: Can’t help but think those thunderous footsteps that seem to be always about 50m behind me sound awfully like Bart’s…

6:45pm: Back from the run. Made sure to lock doors and draw all the curtains before going for a shower. Those footsteps did keep pace but sounded incredibly asthmatic after a while…

8pm: Out of shower.

8:15pm: What better way to reward oneself’ for exercise than a tub of icecream?

8:20pm: Channel surfing. Continued to change channels when saw my interview start to play on Family TV. From the three seconds I heard Reagan did sound mighty thick though with every word over 4 letters long muted…

8:30pm: Crap on tele. Decided to check Silverfern.

8:31pm: It’s been a slow day today, I’ve only had three marriage proposals. At least Bart hasn’t changed my Avatar to a pic of Helen Clark yet as threatened.

8:35pm: Xpat corrected my use of ‘a’ to ‘an’ in a post. Fuming.

8:40pm: Gave up on the Silverfern for the day as there’s only so much flattery a girl can take, and I’m now sick of PM’s telling me that I make “a real difference” to the message board. Grrrr.

8:45pm: Decided to watch some glorious Waikato rugby highlights on DVD.

9:15pm: After searching for half an hour I finally realise that the last time Waikato won the first division was before DVD’s were actually created.  Found video-tape of the 1992 NPC and put it on…

9:30pm: Interrupted by a phone call from the Zimbabwean cricket team asking me if I’d like to join them on tour. Flattered, but pointed out that I’m not an international groupie – they have to come to me. Tempting though. I’ll see if they keep calling…

9:45pm: Is that Bart sneaking into my next-door neighbours? 

10:00pm:  Finished with video, settle down for some light bedtime reading, will it be the Collins Thesaurus or the Oxford Dictionary tonight?? 

10:05pm:  Reject both in favour of the Q section of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

10:30pm:  Into in-depth analysis into uses and meanings of the word “Quail” when suddenly realise that I’ve forgotten my pre-sleep beauty treatments…

11:45pm:  Pre-sleep beauty treatments finished, now off to bed…

11:59pm  My goodness, did I remember to take those cucumber slices off my eyes before I went to bed...?