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Blacks on Boks' Breakfast Menu? |
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Written by His Bobness
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Tuesday, 01 July 2008 |
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Less than one year ago, the All Blacks were world rugby's number one ranked team and tipped by all and sundry to have the World Cup in their rather nifty black bag.
But, as we now know (although many of us are doing our ample best to forget), the ABs crashed out in the quarter final against a dogged French side and a dog of a referee. This left the way clear for Jake White's gritty Springboks to claim both the title and top IRB ranking.
Now, having vanquished a valiant Irish side in a blizzard and sucked what life was left in the English (after their midnight rambles with nubile pole dancers), the All Blacks have an opportunity this weekend to find out where they really stand in this new post-World Cup order.
On the face of it, their chances against the world champs do not look good. Since the grim half-remembered events of Cardiff, the All Blacks have shed key assets faster than an English halfback loses his shorts in an all-night Auckland bender.
In the tight forwards, our front row seems on current form to have withstood the loss of its key foundation Carl Hayman, while our sorely depleted second row at least has been bolstered by the prodigal son return of NRL bruiser Brad Thorn.
But unlike the riches of recent years, there is very little depth in our ranks. The rich northern hemisphere clubs, no longer content to merely offer superannuation to our fading stars, are hoovering up even our emerging talent with their over-inflated pounds and euros.
The fact is that even when the All Blacks field their two first choice locks - Thorn and Williams - the lineout struggled against the English. How then will they perform against the twin towers of South African rugby in Matfield and Botha?
Bear in mind, also, that Matfield - who now plies his trade in Europe - has come back especially with the aim of fulfilling one of his few unrealised ambitions in rugby - beating the All Blacks in New Zealand. No Bok team has done that since 1998.
Our back-up locks - Boric and O'Neill - are greener than Al Gore. And the inconvenient truth is that neither of them looks likely to worry either the Bok or Wallaby lineout.
The one consolation of the post World Cup order has been the retention - after a struggle - of both the world's best forward in Richie McCaw and the best back in Dan Carter. But McCaw will miss most the Tri-Nations through injury, while Carter's understudy - the game but goofy Stephen Donald - does not inspire confidence.
At half-back, our stocks are skinnier than a supermodel's rear end. Surely the Bok enforcer Matfield will aim his first stiff arm at young Ellis, because our back-up behind the scrum is a dipsomaniac night club crawler called Jimmy with blonde highlights. Beyond him, there lies Piri Weepu, a forlorn man sitting at home eating deep fried Maris bars and trying to get Andrew Johns to return his calls.
And the rest of the team? Way out on one wing, we have a lone Wulf who is talked up as having all the talents of a Dougie Howlett, but who is unproven at this level. On the other is the supremely gifted, but poorly motivated, Sivivatu - whose workload on a bad day would put a government road gang to shame.
The irony for the All Blacks is that the least grounds for worry appear to be in the centres, an area we had pencilled in as our greatest challenge this season with the loss of Mauger and McAlister and the still unfulfilled search for a new Umaga.
Ma'a Nonu at least appears to be spending less time at the make-up counter and more time thinking about holding onto the ball and setting up his outsides. On top of this, his combination with the intelligent and imperious Conrad Smith has been a joy to watch.
In the engine room, we also have dependable operators in the supposedly “mythical” Woodcock, the pugnacious old fashioned All Black Hore, the veteran Somerville and, most of all, the workaholic So'oialo.
But our stocks grow thinner by the day and one gets the feeling that we are only another injury away from disaster. Imagine, just for a moment, that we are 3 points down in the final quarter against the Boks and Wallabies and we have Cowan and Donald behind the scrum.
Surely it cannot be long until the New Zealand Rugby Union bows to the inevitable and relaxes its ban on foreign-based players being eligible for the All Blacks? If the full-strength Boks win this weekend, I expect those calls will become deafening.
In the meantime, the Boks must be dreaming of All Blacks for breakfast.
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![546med[1].jpg](http://www.thesilverfern.com/images/abs_157/546med[1].jpg)
