Team Haggis beaten 40 to nil.  Six tries, not many conversions, and a penalty to zip.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  That is probably the best point of the match.  That and the scrum, whcih steam rolled the Scottys as if they were a half weighted scrum machine.  Some of their tight forwards looked about as skilled too.  What the hell was with that prop that looked like he belonged in the Braveheart movie - the bloke with the beard.  That is until you saw what the fuck he was wearing.  one long sleeve and one short sleeve on his jersey.  Fair enough if there are reasons for these things, and I expect the rationale behind this is so that the arm with the sleeve is not bound on, so can be left long.  But here the rationale falls apart, as no other player on the entire team has long sleeves.  So Mr Bearded hard arse looking prop, perhaps just having two short sleeves would have worked too.  Suffice to say, perhaps the movie you belong in has a few cross dressers in it, as opposed to raging Highland warriors.  Certainly played like the former.  But, I am digressing again...

Right, we'll leave the match reports to the blokes that get paid the big money for them, I'll just run the Bart-o-metre over the All Blacks.  Or the All Black and grays.  Have I mentioned how fucked up the jerseys are yet?  No, oh, the entire first paragraph, right, to the players...

15:  Leon MacDonald.  N/A
Started up where he left off in the first two RWC matches, on bloody fire.  But then copped a charlie when setting Sideshow Doug up for his record breaking try.  The way he is going, Mils at centre for the crunch games is looking more and more likely.  Wonder what would have happened if things had been set up that way back in 2003....

14:  Doug Howlett.  8/10 - 2 tries
While Doug is not the shock weapon that Sivi or the Rock are (when they can be bothered to catch the ball), his all round game is unmatched in New Zealand, and probably world rugby.  The old 'work off the ball' chestnut coins it all.  His getting back on defence, his looking for work, he's just hungry.  His last hurrah in All Black colours, and he's making it a good one.  Finishing of tries nicely, but showed that he lacks the out and out power and pace of the brown brothers when given 20 metres to the sideline and a one on one.  He cut back in.  I am sure our other wing options would have gassed the outside and scored.  Still, we did score a play or two later, so no harm done.

13:  Conrad Smith.  6/10
Great to see Conrad with no leg strapping, and having a few chances to stride out and give that hammy a full trail in a  real test.  While he did not set the world on fire with searing 90 metre breaks, it was good enough for me.  If the Cartel decide to go with Mils at fullback, than I would be happy with Conrad at centre.  He's safe, does right thingsd at right times, and more importantly, combines well with what I think is the number one second five, Luke McAlister.

12:  Luke McAlister.  8/10
I think the subliminal tapes have worked (or would that be subliminal iPods).  "Thou must not kick pointlessly all day".  Luke was creative, strong on defence, and disciplined.  Accurate too, even when he made that big break in the second spell, and went to pass to the right, but at the last moment saw it was a Jock, and was aware enough to hold the pass.  THe reason for the confusion was those stupid wanky jerseys.  Have I mentioned that yet?  Yes, a little bit, I thought so.  But if they had been wearing contrasting jerseys, perhaps the All Blacks would have scored more points in this game.  Anyway, Luke for mine has cemented that 12 jersey for the matches that count, and I think Mauger might be on the outer.  Not only from the starting XV, but from the match day XXII altogehter!

11:  Sitiveni Sivivatu.  5/10
A complete madman on attack when he can be arsed.  Against the Haggis breathed ones, he couldn't be.  Might have opened the door a touch for his cousin Rokocoko.

10:  Dan Carter.  7/10  -  try, 2 conversions, 2 penalties
Not a great day shooting for goal, converting two of the six tries, and knocking over a couple of penalties.  One 'poster', and a couple of those wide angle conversions went close, but 11 points went begging, and that would hurt against a team that can score points.  Showed good pace to pick up a loose ball and scoot 50 metres for a try, and played well in general.  Not in 'Lions 05' form yet, however, is building nicely towards it I feel.

9:  Byron Kelleher.  7/10  -  try
The can was not shaken too much this tine around, and Kelleher played a well rounded game.  Did not over do the close in running, and his pass looked crisper than it has for a long while.  Definitly the starting halfback, is playing well.  The four more years are nearly over.

8:  Rodney So'oialo.  8/10
The first of the power men in the loose trio.  These boys continue to get stronger and break the advantage line more and more.  Rodders in particular has improved out of site in the last 18 months.  He now does the hard yards with ease (the easy yards), and is, as he always has been, covers like the best of number eights does.  He was huge in defence in this game again, and as mentioned, destructive with ball in hand.  His back flip pass for McCaw's try off the five metre scrum was sweet to watch.

7:  Richie McCaw.  9/10  -  try
Just getting better and better as his career goes.  Did he give away a penalty in this game?  Not that I can recall, which is not a bad effort from a seven.  Even with a Ref that did not have a top game, McCaw was still accurate enough to keep on his good books.  His ball carrying was superb in this game too, and leadership - take the points when they are offered - 'three for free' is better than a 'maybe five from a drive'.  Points that cost no sweet are always welcome.

6:  Chris Masoe.  8/10
Hands like feet at times, but looked very comfortable at six, and played one of the better games I have seen for a long time.  His defence on the short side was huge - the Scotty number eight will be having nightmares about picking he ball up, and then a nano second getting a raging 106kg ball of muscle trying to pile drive him through the back stands.  It was pretty from this fans seat.  Still not a seven though, perhaps he is a 6.5, a tweener.

5:  Ali Williams.  8/10 (or was it Thorne, I can never remember)  -  try
Anyway, a loverly try from the big freak, showed plenty of power in that 20 metre gallop, beating three tacklers before reaching out the go-go-gadget arm and snaring his second five pointer of the tournament.  Was busy around the paddock as per usual too, not as prominent as the Italian Job a couple of games back, but still a commanding display of lock forward fotball.

4:  Reuben Thorne.  7/10
This is your broken record speaking.  Hardly noticed the veteran Cantabrian, but in this case, that is good, as he was a tight forward!  He did though have a few ball carries at the right time, tidied up nicely, and must have either been buried in the tight, or backing the fullback up out of camera shot during the game.  Really though, on the field these days he is filling that jersey until a player who offers a lot more on the field comes along.  At the moment, his off field presence is keeping him on the field too.

3: Carl Hayman.  8/10
Part of an All Black front three that made the Sootys front three squeal like pigs.  That is par for the course though.  What is not par for the course though is the rest of the game that this man mountain brings to the game - his ball skills for a man wearing a number three jersey is unrivalled at this level, probably ever.  He will be missed next season when he is counting out his pound notes in Blighty.

2:  Anton Oliver.  7/10
Only black marks a few Collywobbles with his throws.  Otherwise, top all round game.  Actaully was making yards over and byond the advnatage line with the ball in hand, something that has been missing from his game for a season or three now, to be fair.  And had to too, with Andrew Hore coming on the field and making busts up the middle like a white Mealamu on speed!

1:  Tony Woodcock.  8/10
Lets get it straight from the start.  That pass was not foward.  But then, the Ref had a shocker in that department in this game, so fair enough.  And fair enough calling forward passes, far too many get let of in this day and age, but for fucks sake, call the right ones you Boer boffhead.  Anyway, that try from that supposed forward pass was a pearler.  Woody could have dived left or right past the tackler for the score.  But in best front row fashion, he aimed his head at the middle of the terrified Sooty defender, and smeared him all over the ingoal, plunging for what should have been a five pointer.  Other than that pretty piece of play, his usual silent assasin self about the field.  Handing that homo Scot prop a lesson at scrum time, and in general being a test prop, not a transvestite.

16:  Andrew Hore.  8/10
Must be pushing hard for that impact spot on the bench for the test matches. Might be the end of Oliver, as Mealamu to start, followed by the white pocket rocket will be hard to handle for tiring defences.

17:  Neemia Tialata.  6/10.
Hardly saw the big guy, but he was there, so a pass mark, based on having to give him something...

18:  Chris Jack.  7/10.
Just keeping the motor ticking over until the quarters.  Did what he needed to do.

19:  Sione Lauaki.  8/10.
Much better effort off the bench with some bustling runs with the ball in hand.  Thing best used off the bench against a tiring defence.  Can So'oilao be a back up seven?  If so, Lauaki for the bench, Masoe for the grandstands, and look out tired defenders!!

20:  Brendan Leonard.  7/10
Like Lauaki, much better off the bench.  Lave him there until 15-20 to go, and then let his extra pace around the fringes lead to some tries.  Hopefully!

21:  Nick Evans.  8/10
On early for the injured Panadol, and showed why he was first selected at All Black level as a fullback - because he is a bloody good one.  Used his pave well in attack, and to scramble out of defence on occasions too.  Certainly worthy of a bench spot, and gives the All Blacks a genuine first class goal kicker on the bench too, which could be important come knock out stages should the unthinkable happen and Carter get injured...

22:  Isaia Toeava.  7/10
Tidy, one early penalty for not releasing, but other than that, tidy cameo from the youngster.