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Idiot’s Guide to the World Cup* |
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Written by KiwiPie
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Tuesday, 06 June 2006 |
*Rugbyheads guide... Our resident Pom soccer expert (or as close as we can get to on the Fern) talks the knuckleheads through the Soccer world cup. So if you know as much as I do, which is nothing, read on and put your money down on, drumroll please, nah, keep reading - BartMan
The soccer World Cup is truly the greatest competition in the world, because the whole world is involved. You only have to look at the teams that haven’t qualified for WC 2006 to see how much it means for most countries just to qualify.
Uruguay (Twice winners) Ireland (QF in 90) Belgium (4th in 86, not missed since 78) Russia (Always crap in the World Cup but a very large country) Hungary (Twice runners-up) Bulgaria (4th in 94) Greece (Euro 2004 winners) Turkey (3rd in 02) Denmark (QF in 98) Cameroon (QF in 90) Nigeria (not missed since 90) Senegal (QF in 02) New Zealand
Naysayers point to the fact that there have been only 7 winners of the Cup since 1930. Namely, Brazil, Italy, Germany, Argentina, Uruguay, England and France. Add in runners-up and you get the likes of Sweden, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and the Netherlands. Add in those to reach the last 4 and the list balloons to include United States, Yugoslavia, Austria, Spain, Chile, USSR, Portugal, Poland, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Korea and Turkey. That’s 24 countries in all. So what’s my point? Well just that this is only true “World Cup” of all the World Cups. Unfortunately the success of the format has made the rugby and cricket people think they can do something similar instead of making their world tournaments for the top 8, 10 or 12.
Anyway I digress. The 32 who will battle it out for World Cup glory can be split neatly into groups of 8 comprising giants, contenders, underdogs and minnows. My assignment into these groups is somewhat random and will no doubt prove to be totally incorrect as the tournament unfolds.
Giants
Brazil
The uber-giant of the World Cup. 5 times champions, reigning champions and with only a conspicuous lack of success from 74 to 90 the blot on their record. Their success since 90 has been built on a much more pragmatic style while still making use of the many footballing gods that emerge from their country. They have Ronaldo and Ronaldinho to spearhead their campaign this time who have overcome extreme ugliness to become world stars.
Germany
The home nation and famous for always doing enough to be around at the business end of WCs. They fashioned a formidable record from 54 to 90 (3 wins, 3 runners-up) and then hit a trough until 2002 when they made the final again despite having a crap team. They don’t look that good this time around but home advantage and an easy group should get them through to the last 8 at least.
Argentina
Winners of the WC twice, once based on home support and some extreme dodginess, the other under the hand and genius of Maradona. Underachievers in recent years despite always having a host of talented individuals. In a tough group this time so they may repeat their 02 performance and fail to progress.
Italy
Traditionally a defensive minded side favouring the 8-1-1 formation, don’t expect anything different this time around. It isn’t that they lack skill, their players are always technically excellent. It is just a mindset that they grow up with, defence first and then attack. Pretty sure to be scraping into the quarters, likely to go out on penalties after a 0-0 draw.
England
Actually haven’t achieved all that much (other than 66 of course) but always consider themselves on the verge of a victory. The saga of “Rooney’s foot” has dominated their planning this time around and yet somehow the prospect of the forward line being led by the lanky robo-unco has not seemed to dampen spirits. A lot of talented players have reached maturity at just the right time and they should cruise through their group. Will lose somewhere in the knock-out stage, solely due to a refereeing decision or on penalties.
Spain
Makes England look like perennial over-achievers. Always have a talented side, always tipped to do well, always manage to cock it up. Will it be different this time? Probably not.
Netherlands
Have produced 2 great sides in recent times, the 1970s version that reached 2 finals and the late 80s/early 90s which did bugger all, World Cup wise. Almost certain to be a falling out between coach and players on the eve of the finals, will score some great goals and in van Nistelrooy they have a striker to rival Ronaldo for ugliness. I expect defeat in the quarter-finals – or to be last in their group.
France
Only recently promoted to giant status after their 98 win. 2002 was a complete disaster and as this is the last hurrah for superstar Zidane, disaster is peeping just over the horizon again. They should get through to the final 16 this time, but maybe not much further.
Contenders
Sweden
Always produce a solid side with never quite enough class to go all the way. Reached the final in 58 in their home tournament. Should progress with England.
Serbia & Montenegro
The former Yugoslavia now produces a few footballing nations and both Serbia and Croatia are represented here. Famed for talented midfielders and ruthless defenders, they will still be pushed to escape from the group of death – but their miserly defence may see them squeak through.
Portugal
An aging side that was meant to reach a peak and win their own Euro 2004, always dangerous opponents. Should get through the group stage and will not be a side anybody wants in the last 16.
Mexico
Perennial attendees (as are the USA) as there are no strong teams in their region to challenge them. Solid but unspectacular. Will lose in the last 16.
Czech Republic
Popular choice as the dark horse for this tournament although their group is a potential banana skin. Attack minded but always likely to concede a couple.
Croatia
Former semi-finalists and a passionate bunch who play with the heart. Being in Brazil’s group means they are battling Japan and Australia for second and that won’t be easy.
South Korea
The TAB does not rank them as contenders but as reigning semi-finalists they deserve respect. Not in the hardest group but they will struggle playing away from home this time.
Ukraine
They must be pleased to have made the finals when Russia has missed out. Have Shevchenko the master goalscorer and are my hot tip to make at least the quarters. Invest based on this tip at your peril.
Underdogs
Ecuador
Working on the general principle that if you qualify from South America, you can’t be all that bad then Ecuador should perform respectably.
Paraguay
See above.
USA
As per Mexico, the fairly easy North American qualification route means they haven’t missed a World Cup for years. Have been steadily improving as more of their players play in Europe but qualifying for the final 16 will be their measure of success.
Cote d’Ivoir
The most fancied of the African sides based on a large number of exports to France (and then often on to Arsenal!). Unlucky to be in the group of death but will be opponents to avoid should they make the final 16.
Japan
Did well in their own World Cup and are exporting players regularly now – generally play pleasing football but are out-muscled by the stronger sides. Will be hopeful of downing Croatia and Australia.
Switzerland
On the principle that a European team that qualifies must be pretty good, Switzerland must have high hopes of making the last 16 from a fairly friendly group.
Tunisia
No idea how good they are, they have had a couple of reasonable teams in the past.
Poland
See Switzerland above. Will be looking forward to a “grudge” match with the Germans.
Minnows
Costa Rica
Coming from the weak North American group. They get to play the opening match which has been a blessing for minnows in recent times.
Trinidad & Tobago
Biggest minnow of the lot, scraped in and will be happy with respectability.
Iran
In an easy group so their cause is not hopeless.
Angola
No idea, must be fairly good to qualify as the African nations keep on improving.
Ghana
Stars of youth football, but new to the World Cup. Based on no evidence at all, I fancy them to qualify for the final 16.
Australia
A solid unit based around European based players, they will be targeting Croatia as the game to win, assuming they can get past Japan. No lose situation for Kiwi fans, if they do well then it is good for the underdog, if they suck then Australians losing is always fun!
Togo
The takeaway kings (I’ll my soccer team To Go) – they may spring a surprise and qualify – I have no idea.
Saudi Arabia
Always seem to qualify and other than a brief moment of glory in 94, they are usually poor. Managed to lose 8-0 to an awful German side in 2002, and that fact will have Spain and the Ukraine licking their lips.
And so to KP’s prediction – now bear in mind that my predicting success for previous World Cups has been dreadful and one of the quarter-finalists is sure to be a surprise.
Quarter Finals
Germany v Netherlands Czech Republic v Spain England v Argentina Brazil v Ukraine
Semi Finals
Germany v Czech Republic Argentina v Brazil
Final
Brazil 2 Germany 0 |
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