Round five, Super 14, only 9 rounds left, and then the business end of the competition, time is bloody flying isn't it.  Seems like just yesterday that we were gearing up for this season, wondering what the ELVs would foul up, and hoping to forget yet another Rugby World Cup!!  Not that there was one last season was there??   No, didn't think so, last time they held one of those was in 1987 wasn't it...

Anyway, the Crusaders and the Blues are home from their tours away, with five from six wins, and the away trips out of the way early in the season when players are fresh and enthusiasm is at its highest.  Probably the best time to be on the road, as opposed to the end of the season when injuries are about, and players are tired physically and mentally.

The other three Kiwi sides have been skulking around New Zealand and Australia, playing some pretty dire football mixed with the odd half decent game too.

The dire coming from the Chiefs, who despite looking like a worse team than last season, still have two more wins than the 2007 version. 

Half decent football coming from the winless Highlanders, who have yet to be thrashed, and yet to lose a game by more than seven points.  I am sure they would trade all those loss points to one game and add three wins to the ledger.  They have not been hard done by, they just lack that final point scoring ability.  They do all the work, make the breaks, win the rucks and mauls, but just can't score!   A bit like prop Cyril out on the pull, does all the work, but just can't make the final score...

And a mixture of both - dire and half decent coming from the Hurricanes.  They have come a long way since their opening round headless chook impersonation against the Waratahs, but are still typical Hurricanes.  Packed full of stars, but, if you use a movie term, they are mainly 'B' movie stars.  Andrew Hore, Jason Eaton, Neemia Tialata, John Schwlager, Chris Masoe, Piri Weepu and Ma'a Nonu, all All Blacks, but none regular test starters,  and you can see why.  You do though have two test regulars in So'oialo and Collins, and you can see why.

Anyways, onto this weeks games...

Chiefs v Stormers
Oh joy, a Stormers side that has one win all season, against a Chiefs side that has their 107th different backline combination (yes, in just 4 rounds of rugby), and their 58th locking combination, 17th loose trio configuration, and a constantly picked first five who would have trouble kicking over a sandcastle at the moment, let alone goals.  Although, he has in the two Chiefs wins (Donald), kicked the match winning goals.  Although if he had landed a few of the goals he had missed earlier in the same matches he would not have had to...

The Stormers have Sulk Burger back on deck, so that berserker will be ready to rumble and call touch judges, linesmen, assistant referees (what ever the flag waving little gits are called these days) nasty names.  Backing him up is the usual mix of Steroid fuelled Biltong Biters in the forwards, and a few quick little black blokes in the backline to make up the quotas. 

The Stormers are a better side than their results (almost a polar opposite of the Chiefs, who are a worse side than their results would suggest), and will be a tough ask for the Chiefs, despite the Tribe being at home.

The Chiefs, well, the lotto draw selection policy continues.  Muliaina moves back into centre, while returning from injury Kahui starts at second five.  Anesi slots back to fullback, with Masaga joining Sivivatu on the wing.  Almost a case of picking your best five backs outside of the halves, and then deciding which jerseys to put them in.  Not a bad plan really, you do want your best players on the field as much as possible after all, but it would be good if you could play them together for a few weeks in a row!!

Forwards continue to have their injury curses - locks in particular.  Gibbes, Ormsby and Burman all gone.  Burman even before he got a chance to pull on a jersey after being called in to replace Ormsby.  Jay Williams now added to the squad.

Finally though, after four rounds, some sense has prevailed in the Chiefs selection.  Fat Bastard Lauaki finally gets benched.  And not before time, he has been about as effective carrying then ball forward as petrol is for putting out fires...

Player to watch:  Messam at number eight.  Someone with fitness and ball skills, as opposed to someone who eats lots of pies and does nothing.

Result:  My heart says Chiefs, my head says Stormers.  So Chiefs by -12, even though I have tipped the Stormers.  Hell, with a thought process like that, no wonder I tip so badly...

Brumbies v Hurricanes
The falling from grace Brumbies versus the who knows what the hell you are going to get each week Hurricanes.  Is a home game for the once were pretty decent Brumbies, so that might tip the match in their favour.

I don't think so though, the Hurricanes had their shit game last week, so this week they will be up and ready for battle.  Neemia Tialata is back on deck, hopefully his Jenny Craig programme has kicked in and he will be a bit more effective around the field than he has been so far this season.  He is joined by Jacob Ellison at loosehead prop, replacing the injured John Schwalger.  Ellison is an interesting player in the fact that he has only been playing prop for a year or so, converting from loose forward.  The forward pack otherwise the best the Canes can select, with Masoe back on deck joining Collins and So'oialo in the flying squad.

The backline, sans the suspended Nonu, remains with Tamiti Ellison at second five.  Tane Tu'ipulotu must feel a bit miffed with this, as the backline looks better with him in the midfield steadying the ship, as opposed to Ellison, who seems as steady as a rudderless ship at times!  Shannon Paku replaces Nonu on the wing - not an all bad thing, as Paku had a boomer NPC last season, and has been effective when coming on so far this Super season.

Player to watch:  Tialata, is he fitter or fatter, and Conrad Smith, been getting better and better in direct proportion to the amount of time he finished on the playing field.

Result:  While raging against the dying of the light, the Brumbies are not the team they once were, so a close win for the Hurricanes.

Blues v Farce
Both teams with close losses last week, against the only two unbeaten teams left in the competition.

On paper, the Blues should run away with this game, they should be too powerful up front, and their backline is the most potent seven from set piece plays in this seasons Super 14.  The Force are well drilled, and probably the best of the Aussie sides in the Super14 - although Waratahs fans may debate this - and will not go down quietly.  They have a few changes due to injury though, and this, along with the fact that man for man the Blues are a better side, should see an ultimately comfortable win to the Blues.

The Blues have made one change to their pack, Boric replacing Haiu at lock to get his first start of the season in front of his home crowd.  Daniel Braid could have started this game too, but will be eased back into rugby playing the curtain raiser.

Player to Watch:  Afoa as he continues to lay down his markers for that All Black tight head prop jersey.

Result:  Blues by 13+

Crusaders v Cheetahs
The Crusaders have rotated like mad for their first game home coming off their Tour.  Fair enough too, as they are playing the winless Cheetahs.  They had better not treat the Cheetahs too lightly though, as while they have lost all their games, in their last two games they have shown that they are a pretty handy team, just not fit enough!

The Crusaders will be fit enough though, and if they can keep the Cheetahs out of the game early, they should have a pretty comfortable win.

The changes to the side see Somerville out of the match day 22, Franks moving to tighthead and Crockett starting at loosehead.  Flynn is benched with Ti'i Paulo starting his first game of the season.  Michael Patterson replaces Ali Williams at lock, Reuben Thorne starts at six for Reid, and Nasi Manu is at eight for the benched Tuiali'i.

The backline is hardly changed at all - Maitland starts in place of Ralph, but otherwise the blouses all remain - Carter, Ellis, MacDonlad, Brett, Laulala and Hamilton.

All relies though, on that forward pack gelling early and getting on top of the Cheetahs eight, starving them of possession, and forcing them into defending.  No faster way to empty the opposing teams fuel tank than by forcing them to make tackle after tackle.

Player to Watch;  Nasi Manu, the massive number eight.

Result:  Crusaders by 13+.

Reds v Bulls
The awful versus the thugs.  Thugs to win, away from home.

Player to watch:  The ref, will he see the shit that the Bulls will dish out?

Result:  Bulls by -12

Lions v Sharks
Another awful versus the should be betters.

Result:  Sharks by under 12 as the Lions grow some teeth...

bye Waratahs, Highlanders