Righto, you asked for it.  After a solid week of sports-viewing, here are some armchair observations on the doughnut dunkers in Beijing:

Peter Montgomery (rating - 3)
You sow, and so shall you reap.  If you chuck PJ into the fray, what did you expect?  Cutting, precise and analytical?  Or wildly inane, hyped up and fleeting?  Vintage PJ really... and his lane-numbered cockup at the end of the pairs should be carved into his headstone.

Stu Scott (8.5)
I watched the archery final and Stu Scott was terrific.  He has the incredibly ability to make lawn bowls interesting, so archery was a breeze.

Mark Watson (6)
"He's just got to feel at one with the boat/bike/track/road."  Despite horrible lines like this, he has been surprisingly OK at these games... have heard him at a few events back in NZ and his raving, hyperbolic dribble is great the first time you hear it but quickly becomes infuriating.  Obviously a decent technical knowledge of cycling, but definitely isn't afraid to share it with the world.

Toni Street (2)
It's like someone has rammed a shaken can of coke up her arse and popped the top.  Every time her annoying, head-bobbing grin appears, I feel like barfing.  Horrible sycophant and frothy idiot.  Fair to say I'm not a big fan.

Geoff Bryan (8)
His interview with Valerie Vili on Sunday morning has been one of the highlights of the games for me.  Bryan is consistent, controlled and understated.  He doesn't distract the viewer from the content he's reading, and comes across, if not likeable, then at least inoffensive and warm.  Bryan is one veteran worthy a few more tours.

Peter Williams (6.5)
The old pro is at his eighth Olympics, and remains as dry as a dusty towel, though adept and safe. He still seems slightly bemused by the fact he's breathing Beijing fumes rather than Tony, the one and Only, who made bail today and vowed to the world the truth will come out.  Blah blah blah.  Even if it's proved he's not a women-beating misogynist, I'm SOOOOO glad Veitch's smug and purile banter isn't infecting these games.

Lavina Good (2)
Should be tied to Toni Street and used as ballast for the next media boat trip on Lake Karapiro. Pretends to ask probing questions as an excuse to get her mug in frame.  I hate her netball post-match performance and I hate her at the Olympics.  Grating and intensely annoying.

Andrew Saville (5.5)
He's had some good moments but some shockers too.  His pathetic attempts to get a Kiwi angle to the Michael Phelps story were wet and frankly embarrassing.  I fel myself cringe on more than one occasion when the likes of `Michael, tell New Zealand what this means to you?"  It's that horrible `talking heads' habit TVNZ reporters have got into back in NZ, where they introduce their news items with a live cross just to show their presence.  It's gratuitous nonsense and completely unnecessary at the world's biggest sporting event... it's fucking obvious TVNZ has a large presence there, so kindly stop fucking reminding us of it every three minutes.

Melissa Stokes (6)
Like Saville, has had her good moments, but did exactly the same as Saville with Usain Bolt the other night. He looked confused and pissed off and bothered by such irrelevancy... pretty much exactly how I felt watching it.

Keith Quinn (4)
The pastures are calling, Quinny.  I'm sorry, but it's time to depart.

John McBeth (6)
McBeth was helped no end in his swimming calls by having Anthony Mosse alongside, providing relevant insight, though McBeth is kind of a poor man's Geoff Bryan.  What a compliment to throw someone's way.

And from the `I wouldn't have a clue' files:

Basketball:
Tim Neverett, Bruce Breslow and Glen Larmer

Beach volleyball:
Brendon Ward, Tim Neverett

Boxing:
Mike Schiavello, Bruce Breslow

Canoeing:
John Burgess
If this was the bloke who commentated on the Togo guy getting a bronze, great work.

Cycling:
David Smith and John Burgess

Triathlon:
Paul Allison, Brendan Telfer and Mark Watson

Badminton/Wrestling:
Garry Ahern - he's always been a gravel-throated class-act. It's a shame they only trundle him out for the big ones.

Judo:
Warren Boland.  Who did you expect?  Bill McLaren?

Weightlifting:
Garry Ward

Hockey:
Steve Robilliard - seems to know his stuff for an Aussie

Tennis:
Glen Larmer - someone slipped a redundant `r' into his name unfortunately.