Tony Woodcock has been cited by the Front Rowers Union (the FRU) for several violations of the Offenses Against Propping Act.  The charges follow Saturday nights Bledisloe Cup match in Brisbane when Woodcock was seen running with the ball in the act of scoring a try.   

We understand Woodcock will be charged with the following violations:

1.   Handling the ball without being bound to another forward;

2.   Running more than five metres with the ball;

3.   Loitering with intent to carry the ball in open play.

Speaking on grounds of anonymity, an FRU source said that Woodcock faces a long ban.  “It’s taken the FRU a long time to get over Richard Bands’ efforts in 2003 – I mean if props all start running like wingers we’ll have every man and his dog wanting to join the union.  It’s bad enough as it is allowing the Australians as members.”

Woodcock’s hearing date has yet to be set but it is thought that the FRU is prepared to wait until the Right Dishonourable Tache “The Walrus” Jones is available.  Jones is known to be particularly critical of southern hemisphere props and the FRU is hopeful he would hand down a long ban to Woodcock. 

It is understood that the Baxter Defence (as in “I wasn’t tired because Al Baxter’s such a shit prop that I can’t even lean against him without the filthy dingo falling over”) is not an acceptable defence.

According to our FRU source the FRU also considered citing John Afoa but “fortunately he made a right balls of it when he kicked the ball.”

Several Wallaby backs are likely to present evidence and they are also thought to be considering action under the Trade Descriptions Act - one unnamed Wallaby remarked "We've got our livliehoods to protect and frankly we'll be out of work soon if wingers can call themselves props.  If Woodcock's a prop that's a complete myth."